December 4

Watching the telly, I am reminded, repeatedly, of the onset of "Christmas".

I wonder when this celebration of the mythical Christ's birth became as perverted as it is today.

Take a break from watching "It's a Wonderful Life" or "Miracle on 34th Street", and read "The Gift of the Magi" by O. Henry.

It saddens me that people designate a specific time of year to pretend to care for each other.

To me...This whole thing is questionable.

Here's this virgin, VIRGIN who gives birth to a messiah.

I've seen her. She appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich. She seems to be comely enough. If I would have had her in my bed, she would not have been a virgin for ten minutes after I got her naked.

Jesus and I are having a snack later. He knows I'm just kidding about his Mom.

The Prophet

On Death
Then Almitra spoke, saying, "We would ask now of Death."

And he said:

You would know the secret of death.

But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?

The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.

If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;

And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.

Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.

Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?

Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.

And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.

And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

The Prophet

On Love
Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Bullshit

I haven't forgotten about this thing.

The truth is that this whole internet thing intimidates me.

I started this thing and then I thought I would abandon the 'net and retire to my books but my books do not speak to me.

I have read, I think, all that Thoreau had to say about things, but he does not speak to me.
I am impressed with Hesse and Nietzsche. "Thus Spoke Zarsthrustra"

Zarathrustra does not speak to me.

Yes, yes, I could go on and on about people who have influenced me, and I will...as soon as I sober up.

Don't hold your breath.

Well, well.

Obviously, I am a lying sonofabitch. Seems I can't smoke on planes, trains or busses.

Rats. I'll have to buy a car or stay here. Neither of those options appeal to me.
I could shoot myself, I suppose, but where's the fun in that? Good by. Bang! How dreary.
Perhaps I should find a girlfriend, a local. I'm easy to please. I don't require love, just sex.
Heck...At my age...An orgasm would probably kill me.
If there are any ladies out there who would like to get naked and watch an old man cum to a conclusion...contact me. You don't have to be young and beautiful. I don't care anymore. I'm not exactly a Greek god myself. All you need is female organs and an open mind. If you are peverse, that's a plus. I was a Boy Scout and a boatswain in the navy and I'm good with ropes. I can tie a bowline on the bail of a bucket. Imagine how I could please a kinky lady.

(Hey Zen? Are you just about done making a fool of yourself?)

Yeah. I guess.

(Shut up.)

OK.

Perhaps my last statement.....

I have just experinced my second heart attack.
I will not subscribe to the "let's try this" shit that the doctors perscribe.
I am going to Florida. I am tired of being cold.
I wish I could go to a beach in Mexico.

Zen Clown...signing off...

Mindless musings from Montrose.

I turned on the telly this evening and I see that this is the season for "award shows".
I wondered for a moment if, one day, they might hand out awards for stupidity. I know. That's a silly idea. What would we make them out of? Physical mass is finite. Stupidity is not.
I did enjoy the commercials. Regardless of the product, they say "This is all blatent bullshit and we assume that you are too fucking stupid to realize it. Buy this."
I must admit that the temptation to rush out and buy a pre-dampened dustcloth required some serious self control. One of the most obnoxious commercials portrays a fellow who apparently has a permanent erection. "Male enhancment". I've never played golf but if one has a silly grin and a hard on it improves your score. I feel fortunate that my penis has gone into semi-retirement. It has been a bothersome thing for most of my life.
Life is just a hobby of mine now, I don't take it seriously anymore.

Reflection

I am somewhat ashamed of some of the words I have used in my previous posts.
Perhaps I should not have said "fuck" or "shit" or any of those horrible, horrible words that drive those thin-skinned China Dolls up the wall.

Well, my goodness. What can I say?

"Hi. I'm Zen Clown and God sent this Angel whose primary purpose was to clean my pipes every day."?

*Sigh* I'm an ex-Navy gunner and if one said "My goodness" in a gun mount, one might find one's self treading water in the middle of the China Sea.

(BTW: If anyone has a loved one who was "lost at sea"? Perhaps it was because they said "my goodness" instead of "fuck" or "shit" and they were deemed to be unworthy of the title of "Sailor". It's dark at night, out there.)

I have stood at the rail at night and marveled at the majesty of the phosphorescent plankton that shine back at the stars and seem to say; "I am an entity. I shine too!"

I have stood at the foremost part of the bow and watched the dolphins taking turns playing with our large, smelly piece of steel steaming through their world. "Follow me!" They seemed to say. I think I might understand what those Sirens were that Homer alluded to. Perhaps we all recall when we lived in liquid. I remember wishing that I could dive off of that ship and be as free as those dolphins. They and I both have lungs but mine are so limited.
Sometimes I wonder: Am I evolved from them? Or are they evolved from I? I suspect that if we were aware, truly aware, we might possibly come to the realization that we are NOT the highest life form on this world.
In the world of water, which is more abundant than our world of dirt, perhaps we are still Neanderthals. Perhaps "Modern Man" is a term we coined to justify our increadible stupidity.

Oh, my. It's getting late. What was I on about? Oh yes. Naughty words.

Fuck it.